My below post is about something which we all are facing today in this competitive world but knowingly or unknowingly we are not ready to accept.
I realized that in this daily race of life, I have become tired and exhausted of living a dual life. One face of my life is for the external world where I have to look firm, composed and aggressive towards my ambitions. But there is one more side to it, I realized I have one more version of myself.
The other version is afraid, sad, childish and submissive. He doesn’t want to achieve more and be contesting forever. Rather he wants to achieve less and die in peace. He never wanted to grow old because he knew that in the competition of life, his ambitions will beat his soul by a fair distance
I wrote the below lines (please forgive if this is a bit crude because I was just in flow of writing my emotions) and posted here to see if there are people like me who have forced their inner Niraj to a corner from where he can’t come out.
What was better, childhood full of purity and energy or the current life where in the quest of achieving never ending desires, I am completely exhausted
“Apne Khoye hue bachpan ko dhoond raha hu main,
Zindagi ki daud me khud ki jagah dhoond raha hu main
Mere dil ne Sapne dekhe the bachpan ki raato me
Un khoye hue sapno ko aaj dhoond raha hu main
Kabhi main Shayar tha, toh kabhi tha main khiladi,
Kabhi main neta tha, toh tha kabhi pagal anadi,
Befikr thi zindagi meri, bus dil me ek pagalpan tha
Apne is pagal dil ki muskan dhoond raha hu main
Kabhi muskura ke na jee Saka, us zindagi ko dhoond raha hu main,
Aapne aasuon ke gehraiyo me, bachpan ki muskan dhoond raha hu main
Badi kashmakash hai is dil me aaj wajood ko le kar
Apni maa ki nam aankhon me, uske khoye bete ko dhoond raha hu main
Thak gaya hu jee kar ab, maula tujhse sajde ki wajah dhoond raha hu main
Happy writing!!! Stay Blessed!!