Hi Fellas, I am overwhelmed by the feedback received from you all..It feels special!!
In my last post, I wondered what is being human?..but think of it..for being a human we need a purpose..do we..my mom once told me…
“Beta (for my western counterparts, it means son in India)..there is nothing more comprehensive than a man with purpose..Define a purpose and see yourself grow beyond sky”
Hmmm…deep thought..isn’t it..So I decided my purpose..To become an investment banker (hahaha, i am laughing at myself even when I am writing this). I am an “Investment Banker” (Yes, in our world for some reason this word has a bigger deceptive meaning attached).
My salary gets credited on last business day of every month and I start the monthly calculations of expenses. Each month passing by, the satisfaction comes from the amount of penny saved month on month. A happy feeling for me and a proud feeling for my family to see my ranks rising…Is that it..is the purpose achieved?? Have I made my mom proud or I have not understood only the underlying meaning of her sentence..Being human..
I wonder, what about the forgotten dreams and desires? I hear a lot people telling me that I have achieved a lot and that now I can consider myself a self made man but the inner tussle between joy of achieving and fear to lose (not anything tangible but the “opportunity”) is always constant.
Sometimes I start interospecting myself whether have I really achieved what was ought to be. Have I met the purpose..actually do I know the purpose?? DO I KNOW WHAT NIRAJ WANTS..AM I CONTENT..HAVE I DONE ENOUGH..IS THE LINE DRAWN
Amidst this the inner me shouts that dude, you wanted to be a banker..okay check…”now what” is the constant question which my heart screams? What would content me? A merc, A BMW, seven digit salary, an overseas job!! What?? Where is the end? Is death the inevitable end?? Life has become a game wherein by each stage crossed, the game is getting difficult and eventually the game will be over.
In the quest of my purpose, I realised that 2/3rd of my life is spent in a shallow deception of overcoming struggle and happiness. I allowed my poor heart to oscillate between the joy of achieving things or fear of the game of life getting over.
One thing I always wanted is to sit besides a river and see the nature demonstrate its power..Check…I am travelling to Ladakh (a desert in North India)..Trust me the happiness and excitement is beyond imagination…The excitement to discover myself…
Do you know what is your purpose ?? Please tell me and share your experience and learning from the most toughest lesson called “Life”
Have a great day people!!